Just as a head's up, I will be dropping a few spoilers here and there.  Most of them minor.  Well, there is one fairly big story-related item. But it's already been touched on in the spoilers forum, so I say it's fair game.  But turn back now if you don't want me to spoil a few surprises with my fat mouth.

Now then.

Well, like everyone else here, I've been fired up for Part III pretty much from the moment Ilias's forces kicked down the front door to Alice's castle.  The thing I've been holding out for more than anything else is Ilias.  Some love her, some hate her.  But anyone who knows me knows that I've taken a real shine to the lovely little goddess, even if she's a psychotic mess (or maybe even because she is a psychotic mess).  Being as passionate as I am about all things Ilias, as soon as I saw Part III was up for grabs last night, I was on it like a pit bull on a three-legged chihuahua.  No, I can't read Japanese.  But who needs a translation when you've got some handy tools to hack open the game's CG?

And with baited breath, I picked open the arc files like a kid opening a Christmas present he couldn't wait for.  I set my sights on the legendary Swiss cheese herself.  And this is what I found waiting for me:

So yeah!  Ilias is now Exdeath at the end of Final Fantasy V!!  ...Surprised...?  Like any sane person, it sucked the wind out of my sails, because, hey.  This was anything but I was expecting.  I guess they wanted to give her a One-Winged Angel form that fit within the theme of the game.  Personally, I say a "Fallen" Ilias, who had gone completely off the wagon and gave into her lust and yandere impulses would've fit the bill.  Even if she's just a dark recolor of her former self.  But that's just my humble opinion.

And I'll warn you right now, there are plenty of angels who didn't fare much better.  To give you an idea, Delphinus did lots of them.  As did Setouchi.  So if you weren't pumped about Plansect, I've got some extraordinarily bad news for you.  Seriously, you have to see some of these ladies to believe them.  If you haven't seen them on exhentai or wherever.  If my nephew's ever bad, I'm just going to show him pictures of some of these angels and maybe scare him straight.  Or traumatize him to the point where he'll need therapy. Either's good child-rearing.

So, is there nothing to look forward to now that one of my waifus is apparently an eldritch abomination?  How about the end of a good story?  And we've got our old pals Alice, the Four Heavenly Knights (Granberia, yo), the Four Spiritis, even the Four Bandits.  And each and every one of them know how to put on a dazzling show this game.  This makes me happy, as I was looking forward to Granberia treating us to a full-fledged vaginal scene every bit as much as watching Ilias's final rape scene.  And Erubetie's got a scene I'm hoping to shoehorn in my next sidestory.  And Ilias still treats us to a supremely beautiful titfuck before some jackass opens the Ark of the Convenant and turned her into...That.

Don't forget the occasional random encounter monster, like Cupid, Valkyrie, Ariel, Eva (the dark-haired succubus(?) from the promos), and more mermaids than you can shake a stick at. The imp is back, and she's brought friends, too, which I'm sure will please plenty of people.  And you may not believe me, but La Croix. Yes, La Croix. The Plague Doctor who everyone's been shooting sideways glances at since day one looks like she might have some potential.  I'm serious.  You just have to see her wearing something that doesn't look like a harbinger of filth and disease.  Can't say why she's got that outfit in the first place, but she's not shy about taking it off.

And I know I'm crazy for saying this, but even Ilias in all her newfound Lovecraftian glory still has a place in my heart.  Like I said, it certainly wasn't the direction I would've taken her.  And I wouldn't blame anyone who ran away from her screaming.  But you know what?  It's still Ilias.  It's still the crazy, snarky, psychotic goddess who brightens up my day with just one dazzling smile.  It's just wrapped up in a different package.  One gnarly package, yeah.  But it's one I can't wait to open.  Seeing Ilias, one last time regardless of the circumstnaces means that much to me.  After all, when's the next time we're gonna see fresh Ilias action again?  There's a reason I haven't ditched my current avatar.

So, if the CG I've scoped out is any indication, I'll laugh, I'll cry.  Mostly the latter when the angels and chimeras come out to play.  I'll curbstomp Black Alice and Promestein to the point where I'll be picking their brains out of my boots days later.  But the girls I can count on got my back.  And any game that can take one of my all-time favorite video game villains and transform her into something you see when you're doped up on Scarecrow's fear gas, and still make me look forward to giving her a spin has to be doing something right.  Or I'm just insane.  I can't argue with either one.  And before I close out on my usual note, I dedicate this next song to the upcoming translation and to all the waifus who have a special place in the blackest realms of my twisted heart:

I am Viper 121.  And I (still!) do it all for the Swiss cheese!

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